The Playlist: Hollywood's One-Hit Wonders

"Well we all just want to be big rock stars..."
- Nickelback

They entertain us on the big and small screen. But sometimes, when their artistic freedom is left unchecked or their agents go on vacation, they pretend they're musicians and try to sing. Sometimes they even tour. And while a few actors and actresses have succeeded in the music industry - among them J-Lo, Kevin Bacon, and even William Shatner - most we wish would just go away. With that in mind, here are a handful of the good - but mostly bad - Hollywood stars who have spent time on the music charts.


Don Johnson - Heartbeat (1986)

Here's Don Johnson trying to hide his face after the embarassment of 'Heartbeat.'

Who knew Sonny Crockett could sing? Twenty years later, I still don't. But in his defense, the 'Miami Vice' and 'Nash Bridges' star does have somewhat of a music background. Johnson spent the late 60s as part of a psychedelic rock band known as the Horses (not a great name for a psychedelic rock band; I would have gone with something more along the lines of Chocolate Stardust or Acid Rainbow). 'Heartbeat' spent 10 weeks on the Billboard charts and peaked at No. 5. But the video, overproduced and with no logical storyline, was retired by MTV during the 1999 special '25 Lame,' which featured the worst 25 music videos from the MTV era. 'Heartbeat' was ranked the worst of the list and, as a result, has not aired since.




Bruce Willis - Respect Yourself (1987)

"Hi, I'm Bruce Willis. Wearing an unbuttoned shirt makes me look like a badass rock star."

Don't worry, it's not the Madonna song of the same name. That would just be awkward. This came during Willis' success on the TV show 'Moonlighting,' before 'Die Hard,' when he thought he was a blues singer. Under his alter-ego - Bruno Radolini - Willis released an album, 'The Return of Bruno,' in the mid 80s on the Motown label. This single reached No. 5 in January 1987 and quickly faded back into obscurity. So far into obscurity, info on the single and its album are hard to come by even via the Net. At least it's fair to say Willis with a harmonica has more musical talent than Cybill Shepherd or the kid that sees dead people ... but that's about it.




Gwyneth Paltrow - Bette Davis Eyes (2000)

Gwyneth Paltrow is one of the few actresses who has shown she can sing. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have Huey Lewis picking up the slack.

For every 10 actors who put out a song, there's one that isn't so bad. This is that one. The Oscar-winning actress surprised audiences when for the film 'Duets,' produced and directed by her late father, Paltrow proved she wasn't too bad behind the microphone. Her duet with Huey Lewis (of 'and the News' fame), performing a cover of the Smokey Robinson hit 'Cruisin,' became a hit single in 2001 and a No. 1 hit in Australia. This cover of the 1981 Kim Carnes hit, also from the film, was not released as a single in the US but reached No. 3 in the Land Down Under.




Eddie Murphy - Party all the Time (1985)

Hey Eddie, on a scale of one to ten, how good a song was 'Party All the Time?' Zero? Good call.

Considering the late Rick "Superfreak" James - cocaine aficionado and former 'Chappelle Show' star - wrote and produced the song, you really have to wonder in what context he meant "party." This came at the peak of Murphy's popularity during the 80s, following a successful run on 'Saturday Night Live' as well as starring roles in '48 Hours,' 'Trading Places,' and 'Beverly Hills Cop.' Amazingly, this No. 2 hit was not Murphy's only musical effort. He released two albums - 1985's 'How Could It Be' followed by 'Love's Alright.' And don't think his musical stylings went unappreciated - 'Party All the Time' ranked No. 7 on VH1's 'The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.' And rightfully so.




Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind (1987)

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner ... and nobody can resist my strong-but-sensitive ballet."

In a list of amateurs, you knew I would have to put a ringer in here somewhere. Here's my impression of every person who has heard this song in the past 20 years. "Eh, this isn't bad. Wait ... who is this by? The dude from 'Red Dawn'?!?! ...Holy crap!" Not only was it a hit song to go with 1987's hit movie 'Dirty Dancing,' 'She's Like the Wind' peaked at No. 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and is a radio favorite to this day. Often you'll hear it in rotation on easy-listening stations somewhere between Michael Bolton and Richard Marx ... or in any dentist office. And here's some trivia: Swayze also co-wrote the song. That's braggable, right?




That's this week's Playlist. Have one of your own? Shoot me an e-mail at grahamcawthon@shelbystar.com or leave a message here. It could be featured in an upcoming column.